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Changing Patterns of Marriage Ceremonies (Part-2)

Changing Patterns of Marriage Ceremonies (Part-2)

      Distribution of Kandhy

 

It was a practice of circulating the invitation cards of marriage performed by the trustable and responsible person of the bride’s and groom’s families. In this traditional practice all cards were given to the relatives and friends to carry on the relations in the long term period. It showed the willingness and acceptance of the both families.

The card giver and card receiver felt respect in this practice. Some cards were returned because the receiver was angry duet to some personal issues. Then the parents of the bride or groom met them to request for receiving the card. After negotiating the problem was solved and the card was accepted which showed the continuity of relations.

 

There was an interesting practice of inviting people, by visiting the members of the relative families and friend’s houses. This practice was performed by the mother and aunty of the bride and groom. This was a special invitation of attending the marriage ceremony by the women, to the women. It was very important practice to successfully complete the event.

     Sehry

 

During the processes of marriage ceremonies the practice of singing traditional songs full of good wishes occurred in the house and bethak of the groom. His relatives especially females came his house at night to sing “Sehry” with sweet voices and melodies. Specially aged women about 40 to 50 years came with their young girls to celebrate the event in the house.

 

      Mail

 

The systematic initiation of the marriage stared with the performance of the “Mail”. They women came in the houses of the bride and groom to enhance the happiness and social acceptance of the new bond in the society. The women, girls and children came there and performed traditional dance like “Jhomar Tarri” on the sweet and rhythmic sound of “Dhol”. After that the women gave some money to the parents of the bride for the sake of help and showing the closeness and strength of the social relations. It was also the return of the money given by the parents of the bride. It was a form of reciprocity. They mother of the bride gave some sweets to the participants of the “Mail”.

 

Similarly the event was performed in the groom’s house. The women, girls and children came there and performed traditional dance like “Jhomar Tarri” on the sweet and rhythmic sound of “Dhol”. After that the women gave some money to the parents of the groom for the sake of help and showing the closeness and strength of the social relations. It was also the return of the money given by the parents of the groom. It was a form of reciprocity. They mother of the groom gave some sweets to the participants of the “Mail”.

Women in performing “Mail”
Women in performing “Mail”

  Batanrr

This was a very important event during marriage process. They groom’s family sent some cosmetics and creams to beautify the bride for the attraction of the groom. The traditional powder of obtan (which was called as “batanrr”) used for the purity and cleansing of the bride. Her unmarried female friends and relatives came to her room and massage with “batanrr” so that they would be able to have such beautiful event in their lives. After that ceremony the bride used to sit in her room with her female relative girls who usually took care of the bride. Her female relative’s girls stayed with her to give spiritual security and protection to complete the process of marriage in the fixed time.

 

   Mendhi

The practice of applying “Mehndi” was very beautiful. The purpose of this practice was to give colour the event. It was the concept of wishing the beautiful colours in the lives of the couple. The “Mehndi” was also given from the groom to his bride. In the afternoon the relatives and friends of groom went to the house of the bride to apply Mehndi on the hands of the bride. After the completion of this event the same was done by the relatives and friends of the bride. This practice was done by the female participants of the marriage.

Participants in the function of “Mehndi”
Participants in the function of “Mehndi”

    Gadd mewa

This was an important traditional practice in the society. In this practice the groom provided some dried fruits and sweets to the family of bride. These were as a gift from the groom to serve the bride so that she could be healthy and happy.

 List of food items in “Gadd Mewa”

Sr. No. Name of “Gadd mewa” Items
1 Khopra
2 Almond
3 Dried Dates
4 Pista
5 Kishmish
6 Kajo
7 Akhroot
8 Dried Khobani
(Source: Field work data during research)

 

  Jonn

 

This was a traditional way of serving food among the invited relatives and friends. The groom provided Chicken “Pulao” and “Zarda” in a reasonable quantity which was demanded by the family of bride. Then the both families distributed that food among their invited relatives and friends in their houses. This was a practice of serving the guests and invited persons with food.

The rich families arranged multi dishes for the guests and invited persons in the marriages. Mostly they served with rice, mutton and chicken Quorma as well as bread. It was depending upon the economic position of the families. The affordability and rational behaviour was also seen in the marriage. But it was given some significance to show and enhance the prestige of the families in the social structure of the society. It was also the showing of the wealth and sound economic position in the village. On the other hand, the middle class families were not too much oriented to practice this activity.

 List of food items in “Jonn”

Sr. No.

Name of food Items

1

Chicken Pulao

2

Zarda

3

Mutton Quorma

4

Chicken Quorma

5

Bread

6

Cold Drinks

7

Salad

8

Raita

(Source: Field work data during research)

 

       Aaga

It was a type of “Mail”. In this ceremony the focus was the bride instead of the groom. The participants of this event danced and sang traditional songs with a variety of beautiful voices. During this event the gifts were displayed and showed to the participants of the marriage. All the gifts were briefly explained with the name of giver. The gifts included jewelry articles, bridal dresses, bangles, carpets, shows, kitchen utensils, crockery, pottery, furniture, electric equipment’s, cattle, drinks, sweets, fruits, shawls, steel boxes, cosmetics, beds, foam, blankets, fancy antiques and much more. These were given to the bride to live a perfect life in the future.

Participants in the function of “Aaga”
Participants in the function of “Aaga”

      Vorrhi

 

During the process of the marriage the groom sent some precious gifts to her bride. The most important was bridal dresses and jewelry articles as well as cosmetics for the preparation of the bride. There were some other necessary items for the bride, were uncountable. The purpose of this practice was that the bride must be looked very beautiful and charming. It was also that the bride must be different from other participants of the marriage.

List of articles in the “Vorrhi”

Sr. No.

Name of Article

1

Rings

2

Bridal Dress

3

Bangles

4

Sleeping Dress

5

Towel

6

Soap
7

Creams

8

Shows

9

Cosmetics

10

Jewelry

11

Perfumes

12

Powder

(Source: Field work data during research)

  Depa

The practice of “Depa” was a form of reciprocity. In this practice the friends and relatives of the both families gave gifts in kind. These were included in the dowry of the bride. Mostly participants reciprocated the past exchanges at the occasion of marriage. The meaning of such kind of reciprocity was to continue the relations and strengthen the bond among the giver and receiver.

  Gana bandhai

The time of “Nikah” was fixed. Before departure of the “Barrat” the groom was picked by the relatives and friends at the door of the mosque for wearing the “Gana”. The mother brother of the groom did this activity. There they prayed for the security and protection of the groom. This was a traditional activity performed by the family of the groom. The purpose of this activity was to seek help and protection from the God.

Groom wearing a “Gana”
Groom wearing a “Gana”
A Traditional “Gana”
A Traditional “Gana”
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